This month I discovered I was living on “Someday I’ll”……start painting again. Check this month’s Newsletter to see how my daughter challenged me to get off that island and see what I painted!
Negative words can lead to many challenges. They can be damaging and hurtful when we retain them and don’t let them go. When they come from our parents it can leave a scar that can negatively shape our identities and personalities. When we say them over ourselves we can be sabotaging our efforts or our lives.
A Curse is defined as words carrying a very negative energy that has been deliberately placed into a person’s energy field by someone else or by ourselves. Examples of Curses:
You’re a loser!
There’s no hope for me!
You’ll never amount to anything!
I’m a klutz!
A Saboteur is defined as an Energy Weapon placed into a person’s energy field as a manifestation of ill feelings. Saboteurs are often placed subconsciously and can also be self-inflicted. For example:
They stabbed me in the back!
That cut like a knife!
That felt like a punch in the gut!
My hands are tied.
That hit me over the head!
I imagine you’re familiar with all of these phrases and the jump to considering you’ve held onto some of them is a very short hop! If you’ve got some favorite negative phrases you repeat over yourself often, they may have become a belief. So what do I do to help you get rid of them?
First we pray for help and guidance. I believe that when we call on a source bigger than us and when we believe things will happen, healing will take place. I pray to God. Many of my clients pray to a Higher Power or Universal Energy. Second, we identify the energy through intuition and muscle testing. Third, we clear it out. Your body will guide us as to how we’re going to release the energy. Often it’s as simple as rippling your governing meridian with the intent to release the identified thought or emotion. Other times we sit and let the body release physical energy from your nervous system that was trapped during the event that caused this energy. Sometimes we do both. We can accomplish all this over the phone. There is no need to be in person.
Einstein said that “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” Energy healers will also add that energy can be moved. When we follow the steps I mentioned and when your intent and my intent are to move negative energy from your body, amazing things can happen.
Releasing Trapped Physical Energies
Most of us know that when our mind perceives we are in a dangerous or threatening situation (whether real or imagined) our body will kick in the flight or flight reaction. What I didn’t understand is that when our nervous system prepares us to fight or to run, it releases physical energy into our body to enable us to do so. If we actually fight or flee we use up the energy. If we don’t, the energy may remain stored in our body and can cause a lot of harm to us on a physical, emotional or mental level.
I learned this from Dr. Kent Rosengren who teaches a class called Body Based Mindfulness that explains how to recognize this physical energy in your body. Once you recognize and accept that it’s there, you can direct your body to release the energy just by sitting quietly with intent as you allow it to do so. It’s a very simple process but does take some practice and knowledge as we often want to resist acknowledging the very thing that may be causing us harm. Dr. Kent has a wonderful process that teaches his students exactly how to release the physical energy and….very important….how to recognize and work through the resistance if it’s there. As I have cleared out a bunch of these negative physical energies I’m actually finding I have a whole lot more pep as a result. Holding on to all that stored energy was quite a job for my body and actually was sapping my strength.
Every student in the class experienced positive results and they were quite varied. Spencer Melchert, one of the students, has been kind enough to share his experience with you:
Hello my name is Charles Spencer Melchert. About 2 months ago I gave myself a gift of investing in a class and teaching I was not aware of. It is called Body Based Mindfulness, taught by Dr Kent Rosengren.
I have been practicing a mindfulness meditation for about 3 years and hadn’t incorporated the experience and knowing of allowing the body time, space and love to feel sensations, emotions, movements and to potentially shift limiting beliefs into a greater awareness. Body Based Mindfulness is an empowered way of doing so. Shifting our awareness from our Brain’s perception and logic base into the innate wisdom of the body – and – giving our body permission to express, feel and behave in any way it chooses, is a wonderfully freeing skill to learn and practice.
I desire to share some of my wins from the class. Uncompleted fight or flight responses get trapped in the central nervous system and keep our systems charged in an unhealthy way until those sensations, emotions and movements are allowed to be felt and released. This class increased my awareness around how I would resist strong trapped emotions and not allow myself to fully feel them with acceptance. I learned to notice, identify and release unhealthy energies around traumatic events in my past – which has single handedly made the greatest impact in me. I have experienced more acceptance, forgiveness, appreciation and love for myself and others.
The classes are taught by Dr. Rosengren, a trained psychologist. He is an empathetic, caring and compassionate professional who set up the classes with concepts and strategies to be mindful of and then the last hour was geared towards practice with the other students. Each student took a turn at being the participant, practitioner and observer. The observer kept track of time, offered feedback on things they noticed and gave words of encouragement. These built in break-out groups provided an immense amount of invaluable experience getting accustomed, acclimated and aware of resistance that would arise in the body. We learned how our trapped fight or flight sensations feel and move in the body along with the art of allowing the body time and space to notice – without judgment – whatever came up. We learned to allow the sensations to be as big as they wanted to be and how to let our body release this trapped energy however it needed to do so. It is absolutely a perfect expression of self love and compassion.
The class has been an amazing experience and addition to my life and I will be forever grateful to Dr. Kent and myself for investing in this class and me.
A lack of forgiveness can put major stress on our bodies as we hold onto emotional energy of anger, bitterness, resentment, etc. surrounding the “ugly offense” committed against us. This emotional energy affects our body, mind and spirit. Our Doctors are beginning to understand the connection. If you check the websites for many of the major hospitals you will find a wealth of information about forgiveness.
I was introduced to the healing power of forgiveness when I took a class called Redemptive Healing at my church. We used Jan McCray’s book, “Your Redemptive Healing” as our guide. The chapter on forgiveness was huge in helping me to heal and move forward from two marriages to alcoholics.
I went on to teach Redemptive Healing and have done so for the last 10 years. It has been amazing to watch what happens when people let go of the negative emotions and energy attached to non forgiveness and move beyond the event embracing the joy of moving forward with their life.
After 10 years of working with Jan’s book I no longer know which words are hers and which are mine. She’s given me complete permission to use her book for this blog. I take complete credit for anything that is said in error.
The act of forgiveness is a conscious decision. Often people don’t forgive the offender for a variety of reasons:
• They are waiting until it feels like it’s time to pardon the offender.
• They are waiting for the offender to ask to be forgiven.
• They are waiting until the offender has earned the right to be forgiven.
• They are getting satisfaction from refusing to forgive. This can make us feel powerful, like we’re in charge, or even that we are protecting ourselves.
None of these reasons have any benefit for us or our health. We are slowly breaking down our body, mind and spirit by holding on to all this negativity. We need to forgive in order to start the healing process by moving forward from this offense.
Forgiving is not condoning. Please believe I’m not suggesting you go there.
Forgiving and forgetting are 2 entirely different things. Often people assume that forgiving will erase the memory of the event. Instead it opens up the memory and releases the toxic energy of it so that healing can take place.
Forgiveness is a personal decision. There is no need to share your act of forgiveness with the other person, especially if they are no longer in your life. If you have a need to verbalize your act of forgiveness, write a letter to them but don’t mail it. Destroy it. In her book Jan suggests we express the hurt, pain, anger, and betrayal we have felt. Include the fact that you are choosing to forgive and why you are doing so. This exercise can help free the pain from your subconscious and help release you from the handcuff that has tied you to the offender and the act that harmed you.
If you feel a strong need for reconciliation with the other person realize that sharing forgiveness is always a risk and it may not go the way you expect. Check your motive before you act. We sometimes want to share our forgiveness with the offender to make them feel guilty or to make ourselves look righteous. That’s not what forgiveness is about. It’s easy to fool ourselves……be certain your intentions are coming from a good place, not a place of causing pain or harm.
I recommend you test your forgiveness. If, after forgiving the one who wounded you, can you sincerely pray for them? If so, you have begun your healing journey. Congratulations! If not, if your anger and hatred are still too strong to be able to wish them well, it may be likely you have been unable to completely forgive them and let them go. Work at it until you get there. Withholding forgiveness can cause sleepless nights, unsettled thoughts, depression, and stress-related diseases.
Holding on to resentment and hate never changes the one who harmed us – it instead works at destroying us. Stop this process and choose to work toward forgiving NOW. Stop the bitterness that has been growing and festering inside of you since the event took place. Choose instead to heal your mind, your body and your spirit.
When I forgive someone I express my forgiveness out loud in prayer. If prayer is not your thing, however you choose to express forgiveness will work as long as you have a sincere intent to forgive, to release yourself from the person and the event, and to move forward with your life.
The following are the steps that have worked for me:
• I forgive __________ for __________. (I list everything that comes to mind.)
• I release __________ from the judgment I have held against him/her and I release myself from the reciprocal judgment. (The energy of my judgment toward them opens a door for their judgment energy to come back to me. I use this phrase to eliminate any negative energy coming toward me from them.)
• Lord I ask you to please forgive me for the bitterness, anger, hate, resentment and judgment I have held for __________.
• I do not want to hold onto guilt or feeling unworthy for my thoughts and/or actions about this. I forgive myself for __________.
• I pray that __________ may have a life of peace and joy. Amen.
I have found that when I get to the end of the prayer and sincerely pray for the other person it’s almost as if I can feel the release happening emotionally and physically. It’s also been very powerful to have chosen to forgive someone in MY time rather than waiting for them.
I would like to suggest that if walking through the act of forgiveness is feeling a bit intimidating or overwhelming, especially if the “ugly” offense has incredibly strong emotions and memories tied to it, please consider working it through with a counselor or someone you trust. It has been very comforting to me to be surrounded by the people in my group at Church as we work through this together – each of us on our own journey but all of us there to support each other. Perhaps there is someone who would want to work on their forgiveness concerns while you work on yours.
As always, if you have any questions about this, please feel free to reach out to me by using the “Contact” tab on my website. I would also love to hear about your forgiveness journey.
I pray God blesses you and gives you peace.
(If you would like a copy of Jan McCray’s Book “Your Redemptive Healing”, please contact me for her information.)
I was recently catching up with a lady who had worked with me using the Abundance Program. She said that when we started “I definitely had self-esteem issues. I didn’t like myself very much”.
When we connected she had recently started her own part-time business in addition to her full-time job. She had a few people working with her in this new business. She was struggling to make money and to lead her team. She knew deep down she was capable of doing so much better but couldn’t figure out what was holding her back from the success she knew she could have.
After a few sessions we discovered her subconscious was allergic to the thought that her team could respect her. Rather tough to lead a team when your subconscious has bought into the fact that your team won’t respect you as their leader!
Her shame and embarrassment about her ability to earn money was at a level 10 out of 10. It’s hard to set an example for your team when living with the shame of not being able to show them how to succeed.
We cleared over 200 trapped emotions that had been building throughout her life, beginning as a child. As we were working through them she, at first, she didn’t see much of a change but then we started to hit some of what I call the “heavy stuff”:
- Many trapped emotions of Worthless, Unworthy, Hopelessness, Shame, Helplessness, Insecurity, Rejection, Low Self-esteem and many more.
- The Idea Allergy to “My team can respect me”.
- 3 Despair Anchors: “I don’t look like a winner”, “I don’t fit in”, and “I’m not meant to be successful”.
- 18 statements regarding abundance that were total negative energy. The 3 that required a lot of attention were “I am not worthy”, “Nothing works out for me”, and “I never win”.
As we were clearing these “heavy” challenges, things started to change for her. Her customer base started to explode – she even had to cancel a couple of appointments with me to get to them all! (I don’t ever get upset over that, I see it as great progress!) Her team started to have more success as her confidence in herself and her ability to lead them grew. I saw her as a butterfly bursting out of the cocoon and taking flight!
When we were chatting this week she shared two great changes that have happened in her life since we completed our work together. She has a new full-time job that she loves AND she’s earning more at this one than the old one. She has lost 60 pounds.
Her confidence in herself has grown. She had a set back in October on a personal level that didn’t affect her nearly the way this setback would have affected her before.
She can honestly say she now likes herself. “Don’t get me wrong, I still have a day every now and then when I struggle but overall it is so much better.”
I could feel her self-esteem coming at me through the phone and it was so great to hear it. When we started working together there was quite a heaviness in her energy and very little enthusiasm in her voice. Not so now! I’m so excited for the changes that have happened for her.
If you feel you have a heaviness or lack of enthusiasm for who you are or if you can’t say “I like me”, please reach out to me or someone who can help. You don’t need to go through life in the negative place where you are. It can be turned around and become much better.
Creating a new business is exciting, demanding, and full of ups and downs. My abundance program is perfect for people who are starting a company. I had the pleasure working this program with a client we will call Jim. He came to me about six months after starting his new business with his partner. He had years of experience in his industry but felt something was holding him back from succeeding the way he knew he could.
They were working long hours, had plenty of customers, but were struggling to make ends meet. Jim thought he had recognized his challenge: he was making poor decisions because he couldn’t force himself to slow down and take the time to consider all the aspects of the upcoming job.
- His proposal numbers were always in favor of the client, usually because he wasn’t planning thoroughly for unexpected time and materials.
- When he was with a client who was asking for something to be added on to the job, Jim’s go to response was “I’ve got it”. He didn’t stop and consider adding in additional compensation for the additional work.
He said recognizing the challenge was the easy part. Getting himself to slow down and handle these situations with “professionalism and numbers that are fair to both parties” was frustrating the heck out of him. As he said, “It feels like something is pushing me. I find my mouth is going where my brain knows it shouldn’t”.
As we worked together I was able to identify and clear several subconscious beliefs for him that were able to solve his problem and make a huge difference in his bottom line.
The first subconscious challenge was an Idea Allergy – an allergy to a thought or word. It’s the same concept as an allergy to strawberries, bee stings or peanuts. Just as a person with an allergy to a bee sting will run from a bee, Jim’s subconscious would run from the thought “I deserve to be happy”. Jim wasn’t so sure about this concept. He enjoyed both the work he was doing and the interaction with his clients. He felt he was very happy building his company, just frustrated. I could tell he was open to the work we were doing but I didn’t yet have his 100% buy-in to the concept of the Idea Allergy. We kept going.
The next subconscious belief was a Despair Anchor of “Am I doing it right?” A Despair Anchor is a negative statement that is perceived as a truth by the subconscious mind, which then seeks to verify or fulfill that “truth”. While “Am I getting it right?” at first appears to be just a question, imagine having that doubt surrounding every estimate and all the work you do with your company. That’s quite a confidence breaker coming at you all day long. Jim could see validity in this one.
Over the next month I found several additional statements surrounded with negative energy starting with “I am worthy of abundance”. After we cleared that one Jim said he was beginning to see very good progress with keeping his mouth shut long enough to allow his brain to do some thinking. The other statements full of negativity were:
• “I can’t have what I need”
• “I can’t have what I want”
• “I am a burden”
• “Nothing works out for me”
I got a call from Jim a couple days after we had cleared “Nothing works out for me”. He was excited! He said, “I just met with a client and as we were talking I could FEEL MY CONFIDENCE KICK IN AND THE WORRY WENT AWAY! I am finally seeing how all this works!”
He went on to say, “I’ve been doing what you suggested and catching my negative thoughts. During our next session I want you to test one I’ve caught several times…..“I suck at everything!” I smiled as I tested it but sure enough, there were negative energies to clear from that statement also.
The next subconscious belief was an Image (picture in his mind) of “Not being liked when he let someone down”. He easily grasped onto that concept because he sometimes felt that when he created an estimate that was fair for his company and his client – but more than what the client was expecting, Jim would reduce the final figure in favor of the client. Jim could clearly see that if his subconscious held the belief that he would “not be liked when” the numbers were presented; it could easily drive him to lessen the bottom line. We cleared the image from his subconscious and Jim will tell you he has never again reduced a quote from a figure that is fair to both his customer and his company.
At this point, Jim’s confidence was building like crazy, as was their company. He was slowing down and thinking every time before responding to his client’s requests. They had a cushion in the bank and things were getting easier but we still weren’t done.
When Jim started the program I had measured how aligned his subconscious mind was with the goal of building a successful company. Jim’s subconscious mind was only 12% aligned at our first session. He was now at 83%. We still had to gain 17 more percentage points but I was sensing Jim felt we could stop where we were. Their company was doing great. They had already expanded from 2 people to 5. Referrals were flowing in and they hadn’t had any concern about payroll or sudden expenses for weeks. Thank goodness he hung in there.
The last subconscious belief could eventually stopped him from attaining the success he deserved:
• He had a Broadcast Message of “I do not have enough experience to handle huge success”. A Broadcast Message is a message our subconscious continually sends out from our body to other people who receive it subconsciously. (You may have experienced this when you’ve met someone and instinctively “know” you couldn’t trust them. It could have been a Broadcast Message their subconscious was sending out and the sad thing is, they might actually have been trustworthy.) Jim had the experience to handle a huge success with his business but the fact that he was sending out this message could mean people were choosing another company over his if they “felt” he didn’t yet have the experience to handle their job. He mentioned that he was having great success getting the small and medium size jobs but had not yet gotten one of the larger bids.
Jim has been very diligent in following my process:
1. Identify and clear the subconscious beliefs.
2. Recognize this belief may have created a habit that will remain after the belief is gone.
3. “Take every thought captive”. The second you find yourself stating or picturing one of these beliefs, catch it and get rid of it.
4. Immediately replace that thought or image with something that is positive. Jim will occasionally call me and ask me to check if anything is building up again around something we’ve cleared. He will also ask me to check for energies around a new negative thought that he’s caught several times.
The second anniversary for their business is this February. The income for their 2nd year is already way beyond their goal. At the rate they are going they feel that in their 3rd year they will top what they had projected would happen around year number 5. They have recently had a bid accepted for their first “huge” contract!
I’ve been so thrilled to be a part of Jim’s journey. He likes to give me a lot of credit but I know the credit is his. He was the one who was willing to see if something internal was holding him back. Without that, we wouldn’t have had the chance to clear his internal beliefs and create the possibility for the business to be more successful.